I am still awaiting a call from my agent.

...whoever that may be, assuming that there are any in my audience with balls enough for the job.

This is what stand-up is, folks. I'm sorry that it took a non-comedian to show us all how it's done.

Is it my fault that we've gotten away with selling picture of comedy for so long?

If there are no comedians in the house able to withstand the rigors of representing stand-up, then give the job to a newsman. I'm far more closely related to journalists than I am to comedians anyway.