How are you all today?
I see that we've not yet reached a decision regarding my ticket receipts. Have I not contributed to your understanding of events? Have I not caused the scales to fall from your eyes? Do I not perform some useful function in your life? Why, if it were not for me, you'd probably think that cavemen possessed the magical ability to remove center columns from towers using only their minds! That way, when the planes flew right into that abortion of yours, the buildings could blow up and fall down, just like the NIST report said --the report that conveniently neglected to make any mention of the center columns, the ones that got mathematically removed from the model, the columns that held the buildings up, the columns that the terriss made disappear using only their psychic powers when they flew their Flight Termination System-equipped planes into your friends' boardroom meetings. (Imagine looking up to see that!)
You'd probably still think that it wasn't Israel that did it.
And you'd probably still think that they don't fry themselves now and again. And then moan and groan their way right over to the cash register. (It's just business. It's gotta be someone's shtick. They just drew the short straw, is all.)
See? Don't I advance the class concensus here? Don't I deserve even a morsel that I may clutch to my filthy breast and over which I may snarl in the corner? With all the finery and the top hats and the canes and the proper breeding, you'd think my audience would not permit their servants to dress in rags.
You know your society was conquered, right? (Turns out that USA is not #1; USA wasn't even in the running. It was fake, like a car commercial, like a big shiny truck bounding over rocks and then everyone meets up at the mountain lodge and wipes sweat from their brows. But it's just pretend. Like America.) A good portion of you will be starved to death, some will languish in torture chambers, and your children will be enslaved in service to Lucifer. Your future precisely resembles the inside of a Nazi concentration camp. That is not hyperbole.
Did you learn about all this over the past fifteen years while you were doing your abdominizer and texting for hookups and laughing at cocktail parties? No, I don't suppose you did.
So why don't you be quiet now and let the informed among us speak.
And why don't you make yourself useful and figure out how I can feed myself by speaking to you. Why don't you figure out how USA can be #1, how America can be the land of the free and the home of the brave, how the gutless wonders in my audience can avoid quaking in their shoes at the prospect of buying their tickets to a stand-up comedy show.
America has fallen so very far, hasn't she?
So is that something that you can do while I figure out how to explain how you might prevent being murdered and enslaved and debased as the subhuman garbage that your conquerors regard you as?
Hmm?
Dream Children?
